For a large portion of my life, I’ve had this compulsion to store food. I’m not even sure when it started, but I felt like I needed to have a full pantry and refrigerator just in case. But just in case of what? That was the question.
Was it because I grew up on an island where everything had to be shipped in? Was I concerned that all the ships in the world would suddenly stop shipping food? No, I wasn't, but I had no idea why I felt this way. No one in my family felt this way, so it wasn’t learned behavior. I just brushed it off as being a weird quirk.
Until the day I had a spontaneous “past life” recall. I say past life in quotes because it’s more of a parallel life bleed through. From what Spirit has told me, there is no such thing as past lives, only lives being lived simultaneously in parallel spaces. I’ve written about parallel lives and how time works in previous posts. If you want to read about them, you can find them here and here. But for the sake of everyone understanding this post right now, I’m going to just call this a spontaneous past life recall, since that is how it’s widely known.
A spontaneous past-life recall usually happens in children before the ages of 8, and sometimes as late as 10, when they suddenly get memories, feelings, and/or visions of being someone else and living a different life. It’s not as common for adults to have this happen unless something triggers it.
When it happened to me, I was listening to a cheesy past life regression meditation. I say cheesy because it wasn’t anything spectacular at all. It was just a person talking. No fancy music or ambiance of any kind to get you into a relaxed state. Just a few deep breaths and your standard- you’re walking down a long hall with a staircase leading downward- slowly walk down, down, down, (really far down) to the bottom of the staircase, you see a hallway with several closed doors- walk down the hall and pick a door, any door, and open it to see your past life.
Yeah right, * eye roll*. I didn’t expect anything at all to happen. Why? Because it was cheesy. I was just doing it for fun, totally not expecting to be catapulted into some vault of stored soul memories from times unknown.
When I opened my door of choice, I could automatically see a dungeon that was dark with dirt floors and heavy iron bars. There wasn’t much light at all. Across from these bars were more cells with dirty people that looked like they were dressed in old rags. I looked down at myself and could see heavy shackles on my ankles that were chained to the brick wall in my cell. My chains were heavy and not very long, not giving me much room to move around at all.
I was scared and cold. I could see my breath. I was so hungry that I hardly had any energy to walk around. The guard was bringing food to the other prisoners, but not to me. I kept asking for mine, but I wasn’t given any. I was begging for it and pleading and I got laughed at. I was purposely being starved because I wasn’t worthy of food.
To make a long, extremely traumatic vision short, I wasn’t worthy of food because I had been accused of sorcery. I was prisoned and awaiting my trial, which never happened. Because I starved to death.
It felt like I was living this moment as it played out. I couldn’t escape it, I was locked in and desperately wanted out. It was heartbreaking. I felt so sad for myself, yet helpless at the same time. It was unbearable. When I was finally able to break away from this trauma and pain, I was shaking and uncontrollably sobbing. I couldn’t stop. It was the saddest thing I had ever felt and witnessed.
The pain and weakness I felt from lack of food and water, was unlike anything I have ever experienced. From that day forward, I understood why I had always felt like I needed to store food. It had nothing to do with growing up on an island and everything to do with starving to death.
My conscious mind finally understood where to put that fear and why it was there. It was to protect me. But in this space in time, I didn’t need that protection and I could let it go. I thanked my soul for taking care of me and releasing my long-held fear. Nowadays, I only have what I need and it feels so much lighter. I don’t need enough food to feed an army. I don’t need to have a completely stacked pantry or refrigerator. Now, I am free.