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It’s been a really long time since I had a nightmare, but for some reason, I had one this week. It must have been the right series of events that brought it on.

The day before, I drank some matcha. At 4:30 pm. I am normally caffeine-free, but it was so good. Totally worth it at the time, until sleep eluded me. I laid in my bed endlessly reading, in hopes of falling asleep until 1 am.

The hours ticked by as I slept peacefully. Well, only 3 hours to be exact. For some reason, I woke up at 4 am. Wide awake.

I think our country is having a healing crisis. We have started a detoxification process that could last a while. Eliminating the toxins that have lodged themselves into our society. Cleansing the infected bacteria out of our bloodstream so we can be purified and renewed. It’s the rebirth we have been waiting for.   

Sorry to break it to you, but we aren’t going back to the way it was. Right now, we need to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. This is our new normal. This tumultuous ride isn’t going to stop. You need to understand that change is happening whether you like it or not. And this is just the beginning.

For a large portion of my life, I’ve had this compulsion to store food. I’m not even sure when it started, but I felt like I needed to have a full pantry and refrigerator just in case. But just in case of what? That was the question.

Was it because I grew up on an island where everything had to be shipped in? Was I concerned that all the ships in the world would suddenly stop shipping food? I highly doubted that would happen, but I had no idea why I felt this way. No one in my family felt this way, so it wasn’t learned behavior. I just brushed it off as being a weird quirk.

Until the day I had a spontaneous “past life” recall.

I’ve been doing a lot of cooking lately. It’s helping me focus and stay calm. It’s been keeping me grounded and present in the moment and it gets my creative juices flowing. Or at least I feel like it does.

I’ve been feeling blocked lately. There is too much weird stuff going on in the world for my creativity well to be full. And it feels like shit. I am usually a very creative person.  I have a million creative projects I could be doing, but instead, I cook.

This week, I made two batches of chili. 

I cried a little today. A good friend of mine is no longer around. My friend and I spent hours in each other’s company.

Just being.

No conversation needed.

We just got each other. 

My friend had the most amazing aura. It was beautiful. Huge and sparkly like shimmering glitter in the sunlight. I could stare at it for hours.  It was warm and nurturing and loving.